Fall to Pieces
by LAKenobi
Summary: David McNorris is out of rehab but full of regret and self-loathing.


**Title:** Fall to Pieces

**Author:** L.A.K.

**Summary:** David McNorris is out of rehab but full of regret and self-loathing. And hallucinating slightly, I guess.

**Author's Note:** It was never suggested on the show that David is or would be a Velvet Revolver fan but I think he'd be able to relate to a lot of their songs. Copyrighted material is used under the guidelines of Fair Use for the purpose of comment and criticism and remains the property of the original holder. No copyright infringement intended.

**Disclaimer:** Boomtown was created by Graham Yost. A lot of the inspiration for this fic came from the episode "Inadmissable", written by Anne McGrail. "Fall to Pieces" was written by Velvet Revolver (Dave Kushner, Duff McKagan, Matt Sorum, Scott Weiland, and Slash) and appears on the album Contraband.

* * *

David slumped back wearily in his chair where he had sat practically motionless for the past three hours. A hint of five o'clock shadow adorned his face. His office was lit only by the lamp on his desk and the eerie glow of moonlight seeping through the window. A modern rock station pulsated from the radio that kept him company. Everyone else had gone home but there was nothing but loneliness and an empty refrigerator awaiting him there.

David turned up the volume on his radio, savouring the sweet sound of the melancholy lyrics and wailing guitars that seemed to address him personally.

"My name is David Francis McNorris," he announced to the room, "and I'm a pitiful excuse for a man."

He trembled as his eyes slid down to the bottle of Irish whiskey on his desk.

"And an alcoholic. Hallelujah."

The bottle had been stashed in his drawer since before his stint in rehab and he had yet to get rid of it. Temptation stared back at him every time he opened his desk but it was a reminder of what he had fought, what he had to keep fighting, every day for the rest of his life.

_It's been a long year since you've been gone…_

David closed his eyes and thought of Andrea. Her confident, determined walk and wry smile had stirred a passion inside him from the moment he laid eyes on her. He had watched her career and her reputation grow along with her obvious beauty, until finally seducing her into bed because David McNorris was relentless and David McNorris always got what he wanted. He imagined the feel of her silky dark hair between his fingers. Lying with her, feeling her heart race against his chest and running his hands along every inch of her smooth skin. Leaning towards her to steal a desperate kiss from her soft lips and breathing in the gentle scent that made him feel alive.

_I've been alone here, I've grown old…_

Eight years earlier he had pulled that angelic white veil away to reveal Marian's innocent eyes peering expectantly at him, her hero. He loved that look. It spoke warmth, admiration; without uttering a single word. He'd known then he would crave that look forever.

"In the presence of God and before these witnesses I promise to be a loving, faithful and loyal husband to you, for as long as we both shall live," he mimicked to the whiskey bottle, and laughed humourlessly. He had meant every word of his vows that day. Tender, beautiful Marian; his to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health… until Andrea had caught his eye.

_Fell to pieces and I'm still falling…_

Who was David McNorris? The card on his desk read Deputy District Attorney but David knew the bitter truth. He was a corrupt lawyer who'd gambled his wife and lost. A terrible husband and renegade son. A sad, lonely drunk.

"_You look good, David."_

The whiskey bottle beckoned seductively, its slick curves inviting him to have a taste.

"Didn't anybody tell you?" he whispered. "The party's over."

_Every time I'm falling down_

_All alone I fall to pieces…_

From the outside, at least before he'd gone into rehab, David had always led a charmed life. Handsome, successful, powerful, intelligent. It was in his blood. But he hated himself. He hated his father. He hated the control Jack McNorris had over him. The man who'd given him his first drink. The man who'd taught him it was okay to keep a woman or two on the side as long as you could provide for your family, okay to throw a few punches and bend the rules to get ahead. For as far back as he could remember, David had played the game of life exactly the way his old man did and now he had nothing.

"_You have me,"_ the bottle reminded him. _"I've always been there for you."_

It was true. The booze had "deflowered" him at the tender age of eight, and gotten him through high school and college and the stresses of his life. It was his oldest and truest friend. His only friend.

_All the years I've tried, with more to go_

_Will the memories die?_

David choked back angry tears. He had cut off his only friend the day he checked into rehab.

The D.A.'s office was full of untrustworthy pricks, which he had to admit he fitted in with perfectly. The cops he dealt with every day were friendly enough, with the exception of Hechler, but they weren't his friends. United under a common cause, they worked together because they had to. Even Joel, whom David sensed understood him better than most of the guys, kept a professional distance. And no matter how broken and desperate he got, David knew he would always be too proud to bridge the gap.

He was David McNorris, the ruthless shark. David McNorris didn't have feelings. Feelings were pansy little distractions reserved for the weak.

But Marian had made him feel like a man. And when that ceased to be enough, Andrea had made him feel young again.

Without them, all that was left was the soulless machine.

"_I can take away the pain, David,"_ the bottle promised.

Born to live alone and die alone.

"_When have I ever let you down, David?"_

_We're falling down, I'm falling…_

David screamed, standing and kicking his chair away in a single motion. He grabbed the whiskey bottle by its neck and with a Hail Mary pass, smashed it into the wall. Shards of glass and liquid sprayed across the room.

_Every time I'm falling down…_

David picked up the phone and frantically dialled a number, his throat tightening with each ring.

_All alone I fall to pieces…_

He didn't have to be alone. He didn't have to be alone. He couldn't be alone. He just couldn't—

"Hello?"

David took a deep breath. "I need to see you."

There was a pause at the other end. "David…"

_Every time I'm falling down…_

"Please. Let me see you. Just hear me out."

David could hear the conflict in her silence, hear the questions raging through her mind. What did he want? What did _she_ want? Did they — Could they — have a future?

_All alone I fall to pieces…_

"Please," he begged. "We… I… I can be different this time."

David swallowed hard as the seconds ticked by.

_Every time I'm falling down_

_All alone I fall…_

"Alright," she said at last. "Come on over."


End file.
